First Dance Advice: 5 Ways To Add Confidence To Your First Dance

Today is International Dance Day, so what better day to talk about your first dance as a married couple. Now, we’re all about doing things the way you want to do them, so a first dance might not be for you, but if you’ve decided to follow tradition and do it, it might be something you’re feeling anxious about. Alex Zsoldos is the owner of First Dance Charlotte, an award-winning boutique wedding dance studio specializing in private wedding dance lessons and online first dance choreography tutorials. Since founding First Dance Charlotte in 2015, Alex has taught more than 700 couples in person and online how to dance for their weddings. She specializes in teaching absolute beginners how to look and feel confident during their first dance. So we caught up with her to find out her expert opinion on ways to add more confidence and give you her first dance advice…

“The ceremony is over and you are officially married! You skip off to take pictures with your beloved and have a glass (or two) of bubbly. Next thing you know, you are being whisked into the reception to thunderous applause and you land, of all places, on an empty dance floor with everyone’s eyes on you. When faced with the prospect of having to dance in front of all of your friends and family, many brides start literally shaking in their Jimmy Choos. So how can you turn this debilitating fear into easy-breezy confidence?”

Set Aside Time and Budget

“My best advice for couples who have never danced together is to invest in a few dance lessons. This may seem so obvious, but a lot of couples wait until the month before their wedding — or whenever you are asked to provide the first dance song to the DJ, band or wedding planner — to even start thinking about their first dance. At that point, you might have already blown your budget and your ideal dance instructor might already be booked. Don’t fret! A month to go is still enough time to gain some confidence dancing together. Seek out a wedding dance instructor in your city and ask for a “crash course” for your first dance in one or two private lessons. This may be all you need to get the jitters out and feel more confident right away. In my experience as the owner of First Dance Charlotte, a little bit of confidence gained in the first one to two private lessons goes a long way toward making couples look and feel like they’ve been dancing together for years.”

Kathy Thomas Photography / Kacie & Patrick / Song; This Will Be by Natalie Cole

Keep It Simple

“Don’t expect to learn a three-minute choreographed dance in one one-hour lesson, but do request that you learn how to hold each other properly, how to slow dance to your first dance song, how to do a simple turn, and if there is time, how to do a dip. If you want to look and feel confident, it’s important to keep your dance simple. If you’ve ever been to a wedding and felt like the first dance was just a little cringe-worthy, that’s usually because one or both of the dancers looked visibly nervous and/or they were trying to do something too complicated for their skill level. Keeping your dance simple will make it easier to learn, practice and perfect, so that you’ll look and feel confident executing the moves. And if you don’t have a lot of time to practice, feel free to shorten your dance to about two minutes, or just through the first verse and chorus.”

The Wallflower Photography / Cara & Madison / Song; Speechless by Dan Shay

Choose A Song that You Love

“When choosing your first dance song, it’s important to choose something that you love, that’s easy to dance to, and that you won’t feel awkward telling your grandchildren about 50 years from now. That doesn’t mean you can’t choose something unique — just make sure the song reflects you as a couple and you aren’t choosing or not choosing a song based on what’s popular at the time. If you are worried that your popular or classic first dance song is overplayed, don’t be. There is a reason these songs are popular: often they are also some of the easiest songs to dance to!”

Sabrina Hall Photo / Ashley & Garrett / Song; Whatever It Is by Zac Brown Band

Give Yourself Time

“Make sure you try dancing to your first dance song well before your wedding day. That way, you’ll be able to make a decision on whether or not you need dance lessons, or if you need to change your song and save the original choice for your reception. If you don’t live near a wedding dance instructor, or if you need some inspiration, there are lots of affordable online wedding dance tutorials, including choreography that even beginners with two left feet can learn. And if your dream is to do an elaborately choreographed dance that goes viral on YouTube, make sure you give yourself plenty of time, and a healthy budget, to learn. I recommend couples book lessons up to six months in advance and take at least five to eight private lessons focusing solely on their first dance.”

All Bliss Photography / Andrew & Dani / Song; Young & Beautiful by Lana Del Ray

Make Sure You Smile

“If you take away nothing else from this article, remember to look at each other and smile during your first dance. Your family and friends are not looking at your feet; they are looking at your beautiful faces and how you look at each other. If you look happy and in love, your guests will see that. And no one looks or feels more confident than two people in love.”