Before you walk down the aisle there are definitely some big and small things that you should have discussed. Some of the big things you may have discussed and decided on already, but it’s always best to make sure you’re on the same page and to not take things as given that you and your partner want the same things. It’s always best to make sure than assume, and as today is World Listening Day it’s the perfect time to broach the subject. Today’s article looks at 5 relationship conversations you should have before you get married and we welcome Dr. Marisa T Cohen, the in-house relationship expert at Paired couples app who shares her expert advice on the topics to discuss.
The Paired couples app is a relationship app to aid and enhance conversations between you and your partner. It’s not just for when you’re experiencing difficulties within your relationship, it’s there to help with communication on a daily basis and it’s aimed to be fun too, so go check it out!
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“Strong and open communication is crucial in romantic relationships. It’s how partners explain what they are experiencing and what their needs and expectations are. It also provides the key to resolving conflict and boosting connection together. Paired makes it easy for partners to practice being better communicators in their relationships. The app delivers a daily question written by relationship experts that prompts conversation between partners and features fun games and quizzes to help couples learn more about each other and their partnership.”
Dr. Marisa T Cohen, in-house relationship expert at Paired couples app shares her top 5 conversations all partners should have before getting married.
What are your goals for the future?
While we change as individuals over time, successful and satisfied partners continue to support one another over time, both in their individual journeys and in their journey as a couple. Having a good sense of what your partner wants to achieve can help you better understand if your visions for the future align. To answer this question, you may consider discussing the role that family and friends, career, geographic location, etc. will ideally play in your future.
Do you want children?
Knowing if your partner wants to start a family and how strongly your partner feels about parenthood is important. Discussing how large a family your partner envisions, the role extended family will play in raising your children, parenting attitudes and beliefs, etc. will enhance this conversation and your knowledge of one another.
What is the most effective way for us to handle disagreements and/or conflict?
While disagreements can sometimes lead to learning something new about your partner or relationship, if not handled effectively, they can erode your partnership. Feeling understood and supported by your partner is important, and the way in which conflict is dealt with is just as (if not more) important than what the conflict is about. Knowing what your partner needs (i.e. a break to process information when things get heated) and the way in which they typically dealt with disagreements in their own family home can help you understand the most effective way to engage and support one another.
What are your financial goals, views on the sharing of expenses, and spending habits?
Financial issues are one of the biggest relationship stressors. Due to the complicated nature of this topic, it is important to have a financial discussion openly and proactively. Topics to discuss can include, but need not be limited to: how finances were handled in their family and how this has influenced current views about money, managing of the accounts, loans and/or debt, spending habits, whether financial and purchasing decisions should be made jointly, etc.
How do you envision “couple time” versus time spent independently?
Some couples spend most of their time together, whereas others may spend a great deal of time solo (or with friends and family without their partners). Getting a better understanding of how your partner views “I” and “We” time is important. Couples that share different views about the role that couple time plays in their relationship can experience friction.
Download the Paired app today and also access relationship tips from experts on everything from sex and intimacy to managing conflict, communication in a couple, and keeping the spark alive.
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